If I were Dr. Fauci

It’s a good thing that I’m not Dr. Fauci. I’m way too fascinated with the human psyche.

If I were Dr. Fauci, I’d keep making stuff up and seeing just how far I could push people. I’d come up with all of these random edicts and rules, just to see what I could make people do.

I probably wouldn’t even have to support my contentions or share any scientific rationale. But if I did, I think that would be even more fun. I’d just see how absurd of a claim I could make. I’d say things that run counter to years of the common sense science that we all learned growing up.

I’d contradict basic ideas like exposure to germs builds our immune systems and makes us stronger. What? Whoever said something as stupid as that, I’d say. That idea is simply ridiculous. We need to sanitize the crap out of everything so we are exposed to as few germs as possible.

Being Dr. Fauci would be the greatest gig in the world for me. If I could get my hands on that sort of power and credibility, I’d spend all my time dreaming up the most ridiculous ideas I could, just to see how many people I could get to act them out.

It’s a good thing I’m not Dr. Fauci. It’s a good thing he’s more responsible and truly cares for people like me.