Never in my life have I ever found an animal cute.

When people gush about how cute a puppy is, or when they melt at the site of a rabbit, I just never see what they’re seeing.

It’s not repulsive, either. In my mind, it’s just what they’re supposed to look like.

I’ve never understood pet ownership. Why would you have something in your house that may (or inevitably will) pee or poop on your carpet. Once that’s in there, it’s not going away.

Sure, you can clean it so you can’t see it. And you may get the smell out. But it’s still there.

And, of course, you have to now clean up after this animal. I’m just not sure why I’d want to do that. I don’t see the benefit.

More globally, I don’t really understand the need for, or fascination with, animals. I’m not suggesting we should hunt or kill them. I just don’t really care. If it were up to me, I’d probably do away with all of them.

Animals just add an unnecessary element of danger. Being in the ocean, knowing that I could be a shark’s lucky day, is just not that exciting to me. The idea of being mauled by a bear while hiking sure would spoil the walk.

I mean, I know they’re there. And they’re not going anywhere. But I just don’t get what all the fuss is about.

I guess I have an inherent, irrational bias against animals.

Does this make me a humanist? Perhaps a specieist?