In a recent conversation about Mormon’s, the conversation naturally turned to sperm banks. We were talking about having many kids with many wives, and we thought a sperm bank may be easier than juggling all of the personalities.

Being marketers, the direction of the conversation evolved to how to encourage more men to donate to the sperm bank. Obviously, hiring prostitutes would be a great draw to get men to stop by.

But in nearly all areas of the country, hiring prostitutes, and calling them prostitutes, would be illegal (although that’s not entirely clear, since you wouldn’t be paying them; the sperm bank would). Perhaps it’s just a question of naming.

To get past potential illegalities, it seems like the best course of action would be to hire sex workers, but just call them “secretaries.”

Then men could visit the sperm bank, head into an office, and call the secretary in for a quick consultation.

I think you’d see donations rise tremendously.